Sashi's Space
oh……to be at the beachRun!
Run brother run
Leave the guns behind
the madman
his cyanide
and his gang of murderers
Run sister run
Let them fight their battle
Your children are your own
Not theirs to
Train and mould
Into killing machines
Run brother run
Make your weary way
Across the lagoon
Sri Lanka waits
Patiently for the arrival
Of her children
Taken from her by force
Run sister run
And we run with you
To safety
And you will see
For yourself what the truth really is
30 years of violence
will end today
so my friend
run!
Sashikala Premawardhane
Naiveté
Didn’t quite comprehend
The naiveté you often attributed to me
It made me angry
I realize now
It was you that made me naïve
I’ve wisened up
Become the adult
You always wanted me to be
Stark, naked, brutal
It makes things easy
When you make those
Strangely naïve attempts to contact me now
I am transformed
You have – de-mystified – these
-All- grown- up- transitory- relationships- for me
I look back at the time I spent
Listening to you
And think
“What a colossal waste of time”
I prefer me before I knew you
Before you killed all the naiveté I had left.
Sashikala Premawardhane
Alcohol & Touch
You make small talk
And I wonder
what you’re thinking
I reach out and stroke your forearm
Slowly
In the midst of you fixing me a drink
Toxicants – alcohol & touch
We exchange
I can see the surprise in your eyes
Amused at this rare initiation
Knowing it’s not
The alcohol I’m after tonight
You smile
And I am undone
Sashikala Premawardhane
Playing my part
Perhaps there is no river
For me to drown in
As there was for Ophelia
Rejection hurts
Be you a character of the Bard’s imagination
Or as real as I
Living as you may have done
Centuries before me
Or today, in this time….
I am, forever, playing the tragic lover
In an endless theatrical production
That is my life
Sashikala Premawardhane
Cakes n’ Tears
Over the weekend
I baked my pain
Into cakes
Chocolate
Banana
Lemon and Bluberry
They came out
Tasting delightful
Moist and warm
Like my tears
Sashikala Premawardhane
Contact
Our moment is gone
And now I am terrified
of running in to you
And having my heart broken
All over again
And of the wounds covered
By the thinnest layer of skin
opening at the slightest
Form of contact
With you
I have no words
To say all the things I want to say
Only tears
“ I want to be free
Baby, you’ve hurt me”
Sashikala Premawardhane
Meeting with a Monk
The monk spoke
In an abrasive tone
Hard hitting realities
He acted out
One by one
We sat there mesmerized
He prodded and probed
Asked for our opinion
we laughed so hard
Till our sides ached
I have never laughed so much
At a sermon
The next day we were invited for breakfast
He admonished his disciples
For not laying out on the table
A tomato curry he had got made
Especially for me
He served me a spoon full
And I thought
It’s funny how he serves the laymen
Being a monk
I was slightly uncomfortable at this
But he cracked so many jokes
It was soon forgotten
I revealed I was not married
And he said
I have been looking
Around myself for the past 38 years
And grinned cheekily
When I close my eyes
I can still see
The absolute mirth and gaiety of the man
I will write you a verse
Not a love poem – he added
Recite it daily
It will give you courage
We parted
I have never enjoyed
The company of a monk
As I did that day
He was a revelation
Sashikala Premawardhane
Mirisawetiya
Ancient Mirisawetiya
Stands in all its awe
A globe reaching out to the sky
As if it were a receptor
For communication with the gods
Surrounded by thick jungle cover
It exudes a strange energy
That seeps in to the soul
Little by little
As I stood there gazing
Reciting ancient words
that have been spoken
over and over again
by every pilgrim
that has walked this path
I sensed a strange belonging to this land
A connection I have not
Felt before
The ground felt familiar
And with each step
I felt rooted
By some energy
Some inexplicable link
As if I have stood here
And done exactly this
Many a lifetime
Sashikala Premawardhane
I write
I write
for you
As if these words could
Turn circumstances around
Fingers beating down on the keyboard
Making the charm bracelet- you gave me- jingle
In my heart
I believe they could
And so I write
For you
The mind knows nothing
Of what the heart believes
And is forever
The pessimist
Laughing at my folly
Sashikala Premawardhane
Mala and Kumari
The mention of Mala and Kumari
Evoke such rage
Picking up clothes from off the floor
I fight off your embrace
“Not this on my Birthday!” No way!
I decide to tell you what I think
And walk out –forever-
I don’t know why I stayed
Maybe it was the way you said “don’t go”
Or maybe this was where I wanted to be
With you, today,
Or maybe I could hear you
Without you saying a word
For once, I understood
The different reasons
Why we need this
When nothing else makes sense
There is comfort
In the world we have created for ourselves- unconsciously
Sashikala Premawardhane
