I am stuck inside this body
Unable to break through
It’s suffocating me bit by bit
I feel like
Unscrewing my head
And keeping it on the table
So that it can stop thinking
Waiting to die
I can feel the second hand of the clock
Ticking vociferously
The sound is slow
And laborious
One tick
And then a lifetime between the tock
Why are the days so long?
Why is it filled up with
things that don’t bring joy in doing?
Just dutifully breathing in and out
Pumping in blood
To keep alive a heart
That is already dead
It’s like having an incurable disease
And no euthanasia
To end it all
Given no choice
In a body that isn’t mine
soul is struggling
For my freedom
But I have been condemned
To continue
The motions of life
The end could be tomorrow
So happily close
Or 50 years from now
Not knowing how long
Is just as painful as seeing you dead
Like wanting your head to explode and end it all
But knowing it just won’t do that by itself
Stuck to your head
The body continues its weary existence
Slowly, trudging to meet an unknown deadline
This is my fear of the unknown
When will be it time for me to shake this case and be free???

Sashikala Premawardhane

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