I no longer
Look forward to waking up each day
You have filled each day with disappointment
Killing hope slowly
With words

The phone, it’s ringing
And I can see it’s you
I have lost the courage
To pick up and say “hello”
Instead I’ve begun to like the silence
when the ringing stops

the certainty that comes with it
eludes our intermittent exchanges

I’ve grown weary
of waiting for your love
instead there are meaningless liaisons
between us
some which makes the phone stop ringing for days
halts contact in its track
and conversations difficult
we walk on egg shells around each other
too frightened to say
what each of us
does not want to hear
until, I give in, and let it pass without comment

Today, I contemplate my future in silence
And I have to say
I am frightened for me

Sashikala Premawardhane

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