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I still cringe

When I think of that hurried afternoon meeting

Your farewell face

Saying it all

 

And yet I let it be

Let you triple T- “think things through”

 

Even though

I say dismissively to you

When we talk, thereafter,

“I know the answer already”

Some sadist in me wants to hear you say it         

 

can’t we just be? you ask, forlorn…

 And I answer with an emphatic “NO!”

You say you want to talk to mom and………

 

And I laugh to myself

“talk to mom!!!”

How incredulous! when did you ever have to talk to mom before deciding on a woman!!!

That was a low blow

Even for you

 

You call blabbering about having panic attacks

And say “I can’t do this anymore”

Do what? I ask- distracted – not really thinking

“you know what” you say

“ No I don’t, be specific”

“I can’t have a relationship with you”

 

And I think to myself

Funny how that’s only thing you can’t have with me

 

Sashikala Premawardhane

 

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